Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Rest in Peace, Backpack

So today I'm sitting in my Intro to Theatre class and we have the dean of the Fine Arts and Communications college lecturing us on visual techniques. To be honest, I usually don't take notes on guest speakers but I am going to have to write a paper on what he was talking about so naturally, I was intending to take notes.

Here's the thing. I've had this black, Jansport backpack since 9th grade. It's done well. Only one of the zippers on the top pocket was currently working, but it still functioned. There was also this...rough spot, if you the zipper track that you had to be sensitive to. Nevertheless, it still functioned. So today when I go to take my notebook out of my back pack, the zipper hits the rough spot and falls right off of the backpack, and I'm holding it in my hand. Great. So now I don't have a backpack that closes and I have to go to my Physical Science Lab right after this.

So the class ends and I carry my backpack to the bookstore to buy a new one. I lost count of how many times people asked me why I was holding my backpack on that very short walk. I told the story the first couple times but then it turned into "it broke." On the bright side, people noticed me. I've always thought I was a repulsive, frighteningly ugly and awkward human being that any random individual would avoid like the plague. I start carrying my back pack in front of me and suddenly I'm a celebrity. I get to the bookstore and it takes me nearly ten minutes to finally find a backpack that isn't over $70. Seriously. I find one, a Jansport, much like my old one, for $40 and put all of my stuff into it. When I go to check out, the cashier asks me why there is stuff in I had committed a crime. Long story short...I had to tell the story...and I was ten minutes late to my lab.

Moral of the story....none. Old stuff does you no good. Backpacks aren't really sentimental either. So you know what, don't rest in peace backpack. I hope you rot with the rest of the fast food in that garbage can I threw you in. Thanks for nothing. Oh, and thank YOU. Thank you for reading this and for allowing me to waste some of your time while you could be doing your Physical Science homework, finding a cure to aids, feeding hungry children, discrediting Kanye West, or picking the Halloween colored M&M's out of a bag for that bowl that sits in your entry way. I've hopefully wasted your precious time in the same manner that my backpack wasted mine.


  1. Bahaha! Oh, how I love you. I laughed out loud when I read this. Thanks for wasting my time. I enjoyed it. :)

  2. I wasted 3.25 minutes of my life for THIS????? and NO FRIGGEN MORAL?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? What is this!!!!!!?????????? What has the world come to?????????????????????????????????????? Fail... Bloody h*ll... :P
    *throws hands up in air*