Monday, April 12, 2010

Just playin' a little defense.

Don't worry, you don't need to read this. I need to do this for me.

Ok yeah:

Dude, you just picked a fight you are going to LOSE. Big time. Since you're obviously deaf, dumb, and can't tell that that audio file is dramatically altered, I'm gon' hit you in the face with the reality. I'm sure you're totally an expert on the music industry.

First, try this on for size:

Breathtaking right? Oh, but wait, she's singing into a microphone. That must obviously mean that there's "smoke and mirrors" and that when she sings into the mic. Even though this arrangement is ENTIRELY different from the track on the album and she really didn't have time to pre-record this track in the three days she made this arrangement. But, let's give you the benefit of the doubt. Now, please explain this:

There's no mic here. But you're probably right, they made her swallow the backing track and that's what's coming out of her mouth. And that's why she's kneeling; so she can mover the box around in her stomach. Oh, and she's singing for sick children in a hospital. So, what do we learn from this? Well, first of all, success isn't always given to talent-less hacks. Second of all, you're a D-BAG! Go find something worthwhile to do while Beyoncé sings to hospitalized children across the world. Or, maybe you'd like to go tell the girl in the community talent show that she has no future. Or kick a puppy, perhaps; it wouldn't surprise me. Pessimism like yours is worthless, sorry bud. Third, you mess with Lady Bey, you mess with me.

That felt good, I'm done. Nothing to see here, move along people.


  1. I'm giving you a standing ovation right now

  2. Jon,'re not a single lady. *you start crying* LOL jk :)

  3. I love you. Someday, the two of us will meet Beyonce, and then our lives will be complete.

  4. instead of reality can we just hit him in the face with a brick? or something sharp? i'm not picky really.