Tuesday, May 21, 2013

#fail ...(s) in communication as of late

Total stranger (tank top clad Provo All-Star) in the stairwell: "Hey, wassup?"
Me: "See ya."

How I greet customers at my job: "How can I help you?"
Their response half the time: "Good, how are you?"

Female: "What was the last cologne you bought?"
Me: "None."
Female: "What are you wearing now."
Me: "Absolutely nothing."

Classmate: "Oh my gosh, your zipper (on my backpack) is HUGE! Can I touch it?"
Me: "Uhhh"

(At Rancherito's Drive-thru) Me: "Can I have a fish burrito."
Employee: "We don't make breakfast enchiladas"
(At the same establishment a month later) Me: "Can I have a fish burrito?"
Employee: "No."

How I typically send off customers: "You're good to go."
My translation: "All you need to do now is show up. Everything else is taken care of; you have nothing to worry about. Thank you for your patronage."
(Recently brought to my attention) The way that it's interpreted: "Leave."

Friend: "I've been sick so much lately I think I might die young."
Me: "...so they're close to the MTC right?"

Me: "Yeah, let's get some Sigur Ros all up in here!"
Them: "Isn't that against the honor code?"

(In reference to customers that are just a little too friendly) Myself: "And then they just raise their eyebrows and grin from ear to ear when they're through with me."

What I heard: "Are you asking a girl on a date?"
What he really said: "I'm asking a girl on a date."
My answer: "No."

Dad (to my mom): "Let's go see Wreck it Ralph."
Mom: "I'm not paying a money to see anything with the pointy ears or blue skin."

Coworker: "Can I just say that this (insert subject) homework is beyond sense."

Me, when anyone suggests any kind of surprise of any kind :

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