Saturday, August 24, 2013

August 24, 2012

"I can't believe that I am about to enter my last transfer. Coming close to the end has allowed me some time to reflect here and there. A positive attitude and repentance have really saved my mission now that I'm winding down to the end. As I look back on my mission, as a whole I see it as a trial of my faith. I think I had a very strong testimony of the gospel before I left, and for that reason, this time has become a test and I am now able to finally be grateful for it. It wasn't easy, but I can say that I'm stronger now than I was before. There is still some recovery that needs to take place for things that have happened in these two years. I realize that as well. That may take time after my mission...or maybe it will always be a part of me.

I love 1 Nephi 20: 10: 

 "For behold I have refined thee; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction."

I love the imagery. I liked myself before my mission, but I'm a different person now. I've been refined by fire. I'm a different shape. It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm better or worse...just different. It may not be what I want, but it's what Heavenly Father wants and needs me to be. I've started to accept that. I really feel like I needed to be here in order to realize that."

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