Sunday, November 9, 2014

Filling someone with false hope, to me, is worse than criticism. I can take criticism in stride and I'm mature enough to brush off criticism that is unfounded. I don't know what to do with a compliment that simply isn't true. It actually makes everything worse. It makes me expect more of myself than is necessary. It makes me constantly feel like I'm not living up to expectations. It makes me think that what I feel is invalid. And frankly, it gets old really fast. A compliment given just to make me feel better actually has exactly the opposite effect.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

For the first time since I was maybe...16 (?) ...I'm starting to feel insecure about the way I look.

I don't like it, but it's happening.

And I feel like all of these insecurities stem from external influences; things people tell me. But I've chosen to put myself around those influences and lay myself open to their judgement and am thus having oh so many doubts about my choices.

Oh Sister James, I have such doubts.